1 00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:05,080 Good morning, Jack. 2 00:00:05,090 --> 00:00:08,420 Lemon, I'm helping to organize a little fundraising dinner for John McCain this weekend, 3 00:00:08,430 --> 00:00:10,220 and I need some women to attend. 4 00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:12,740 So it doesn't turn into another giant sausage fest. 5 00:00:12,770 --> 00:00:14,160 Well, I don't know. 6 00:00:14,170 --> 00:00:16,670 What's the Committee to Reinvade Vietnam? 7 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:17,920 Just say you'll come. 8 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:21,300 Jonathan's going to round up all the cool Republican celebrities. 9 00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:22,660 Like who, Chuck Norris? 10 00:00:22,670 --> 00:00:26,320 No, C. Nor and I had a falling-out after I switched to another dojo. 11 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,300 Ah, well, sorry, but I'm not giving anybody money 12 00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:30,260 until there's campaign finance reform. 13 00:00:30,270 --> 00:00:34,640 Also I'm saving that money for new humidifiers. The same model that's keeping Larry King alive. 14 00:00:34,650 --> 00:00:36,800 Oh, and I want you to book the subway hero onto the show. 15 00:00:36,810 --> 00:00:39,580 - Who? - The subway hero. 16 00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:41,080 Do you not watch the news? 17 00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:42,990 Food network doesn't have a news show. 18 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,510 This guy stepped in front of a train to save a total stranger had fallen on the tracks. 19 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:50,090 He pulled him between the rails, and the train missed their heads by inches. 20 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,850 - Wow, that's amazing. - I know. 21 00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:56,730 Every show wants a guest appearance by the subway hero, but we have an advantage. 22 00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:58,440 We do? 23 00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,770 For his exceptional courage... 24 00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:06,430 the City of New York bestows the bronze medallion on Dennis Duffy. 25 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,060 Thank you, mayor Bloomberger. 26 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,950 I accept this honor on behalf of every-- 27 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,110 Stern rules! Baba booey! 28 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,800 No, no, no, no, no. 29 00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:17,990 Oh, yes. 30 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,320 Dennis Duffy, beeper salesman and your ex-boyfriend. 31 00:01:21,340 --> 00:01:22,980 And Dateline predator. 32 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,640 Exonerated Dateline predator. 33 00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:26,660 The whole thing was one big silly misunderstanding. 34 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,200 Like the Giuliani campaign. 35 00:01:28,210 --> 00:01:29,950 No way, forget about it. 36 00:01:29,970 --> 00:01:30,920 Lemon, be professional. 37 00:01:30,950 --> 00:01:33,070 We all have to work with people we hate sometimes. 38 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,040 Jonathan, why don't you put on more of that cologne? 39 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,820 when I say subway, you say hero. 40 00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:41,680 - Subway. - Hero? 41 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:48,890 -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- proudly presents 42 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:55,130 -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- sync:������ 43 00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:00,580 30 Rock Season02 Episode12 "Subway Hero" 44 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,760 I now declare this store open for all mankind. 45 00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:09,590 Hey, dummy. 46 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,360 Dennis. 47 00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:11,500 I knew you'd be back. 48 00:02:11,510 --> 00:02:12,990 Yeah, I'm not back. 49 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,310 Jack sent me because he wants you on TGS. 50 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,800 No way, this is fate. 51 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:18,930 You swore to me that you would never see me again, 52 00:02:18,940 --> 00:02:23,470 but this whole crazy on-again-off-again Dennis-Liz thing, it just can't be stopped. 53 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,070 No, we don't have a crazy thing. 54 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,590 Yeah, we do. We're like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay. 55 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,070 Can I borrow those giant scissors? 56 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,570 We always knew this would happen, didn't we? 57 00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:33,800 I mean, that I would be somebody. 58 00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:37,490 I can't believe it's happening because of this, and not because of my band. 59 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,700 * I just want to rock * 60 00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:43,900 Well, you have had some fame before. You were on Dateline. 61 00:02:44,220 --> 00:02:47,150 I knew you were gonna say that. And it's so unfair. 62 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,630 I knew that girl was 18. 63 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:50,910 She told me that her last boyfriend was Asian. 64 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,800 And that crap doesn't start until college. 65 00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,110 So you want to do the show or not? 66 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,550 I don't know. You know. 67 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,900 Getting lots of offers from news and dancing programs. 68 00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,700 But how could I say no to you, right? 69 00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:09,590 I mean, maybe we should just see where this crazy Dennis-Liz roller coaster ride takes us, huh? 70 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 71 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,650 Jonathan. 72 00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:22,220 Who is this? 73 00:03:22,230 --> 00:03:24,390 Oh, it's Bucky Bright, sir. 74 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,590 He was a major tv star in the '40s, '50s and the fall of 1972, 75 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,260 and he's your Republican celebrity for the McCain dinner. 76 00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:34,470 Uh-huh, good to see you. What happened to Bruce Willis? 77 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,480 He insists on singing. 78 00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:36,180 Jim Belushi? 79 00:03:36,190 --> 00:03:37,370 He insists on singing. 80 00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:39,540 Good god. When did the party become so boring? 81 00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:41,600 The Democrats have all the good celebrities. 82 00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,560 Mr. Donaghy, this was delivered to-- 83 00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:46,280 Son of a married couple, Bucky Bright! 84 00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:47,720 You know who this is? 85 00:03:47,730 --> 00:03:48,770 Who doesn't? 86 00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:51,240 Most people. But let me ask you a question, Kenneth. 87 00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:54,200 If Mr. Bright here told you to vote Republican, would you do it? 88 00:03:54,210 --> 00:03:57,170 Oh, no, sir, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. 89 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,250 Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the lord's name. 90 00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:02,430 That's Republican-- we count those. 91 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,970 Well, I don't know whether you know it or not, 92 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:08,320 but I used to do the old soft shoe at all the Eisenhower rallies. 93 00:04:08,570 --> 00:04:09,840 One, two... 94 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,670 I'm sorry to have wasted your time, Mr. Bright. 95 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:15,060 Kenneth here will show you out. Thank you. 96 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:23,140 Boy, 30 Rock. 97 00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:25,940 The stories I could tell about this place. 98 00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:27,800 Eh, nobody wants to listen to me anymore. 99 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:32,250 Oh, Mr. Bright, I would love to hear about the good old days. 100 00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:33,950 Oh, different back then, I'll tell you. 101 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,820 Yes, sir, boy, they were classy. 102 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:40,570 Yeah, ah we didn't have any of those shirts with words on 'em, 103 00:04:40,590 --> 00:04:43,950 or dungarees, or anything like that, o sirree. 104 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,770 Men came to work, ties and hats. 105 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:47,970 So elegant. 106 00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:53,200 Well, and you had tailor-made suits and a little place here for a little carnation in your lapel. 107 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:58,230 And an inside monogrammed pocket, you know, for your opium pipe and your switchblade. 108 00:04:59,530 --> 00:05:00,460 I'm sorry-- what now? 109 00:05:00,470 --> 00:05:03,440 Say, why don't you show me around the old studio? 110 00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:05,590 Okay, okay. 111 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,820 These things are so bad for me. 112 00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:11,560 400% of my sodium? I should not be eating these. 113 00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:16,500 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bravest New Yorker since Bernie Goetz, Mr. Dennis Duffy. 114 00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:21,740 What's with the trophy? 115 00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:24,090 It's the Stanley cup, honey. It's hockey's ultimate prize. 116 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:26,910 And me and it, we're teaming up to fight illiteracy. 117 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,490 Wow, I never would have had the guts to do what that dude did. 118 00:05:30,510 --> 00:05:31,280 You don't know that. 119 00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:34,420 I do know. I've watched seven different people die in subway stations. 120 00:05:34,430 --> 00:05:37,150 so, Dennis, tell us what it was like in the moment. What was going through your mind? 121 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,750 You know, it was all instinct, Jack. 122 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,230 My mind, it was-- it was so clear. 123 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,000 All I could think about was Derek Jeter. 124 00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:46,010 And it was like, check this out, Jeter, you think you're better than me? 125 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,900 So you brought Dennis back. 126 00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:56,450 Only 'cause Jack made me. 127 00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:59,620 It's just that you said never again, but here he is. 128 00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:03,310 You said, "I don't know what I see in that guy, " but I was there when you two met. 129 00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:06,130 You do have this weird connection. 130 00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:10,570 Uh, why is this movie called "The Hours" when it feels so much longer? 131 00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:13,880 They should call this thing "The Weeks". 132 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,480 "The Weeks." 133 00:06:19,490 --> 00:06:21,010 Liz, listen to me. 134 00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:23,860 Dennis is like those off-brand Mexican Cheetos. 135 00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:25,410 My "Sabor de soledad"? 136 00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:27,660 I only have Spanish delis in my neighborhood. 137 00:06:27,670 --> 00:06:30,830 You know those are bad for you, but you keep stuffing them in your mouth 138 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:33,710 because it's easier to do that than to bother to eat well. 139 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,500 That's a weak metaphor. 140 00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:38,880 You deserve a good meal, Liz. 141 00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:41,290 Subway hero! 142 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,940 Subway hero! 143 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:45,960 Subway hero! 144 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,240 Tracy. My friend. 145 00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:52,030 Have you ever considered becoming the celebrity face of the Republican party? 146 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,060 What? Hell, no. 147 00:06:55,070 --> 00:06:56,930 Black people supporting Republicans? 148 00:06:56,940 --> 00:06:58,700 Does hot support cold? 149 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,330 Does rain support the earth? 150 00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:05,130 Now that misperception is precisely why the GOP needs better celebrities, 151 00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:09,170 and a black celebrity such as yourself would really make us look good. 152 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,700 Do you like lower taxes? 153 00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:12,290 If I paid taxes, I sure would. 154 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:13,970 - How about gun ownership? - Go on. 155 00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:16,110 - States' rights? - I love states' rights. 156 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,780 And let none of us forget the GOP is the party of Lincoln. 157 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,360 Lincoln was a Republican? 158 00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:25,050 Actually, today's Republican party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln. 159 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,960 He fought a war to preserve federal authority over the states. 160 00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,590 That's not exactly small government. 161 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:34,580 Dotcom, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... 162 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,300 off-putting. 163 00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:39,520 I guess that's why I'm still single. 164 00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:45,270 Damn. The Republican party sounds pretty attuned to my unique way of life. 165 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,370 But I'd be turning my back on my people to support it. 166 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:51,340 You put me in a quandary, Jack Donaghy. 167 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,280 A quandary. 168 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,690 Back then, we didn't have pages, you know. 169 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:00,870 We had what we called "sandwich girls." 170 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,380 Oh, 'cause they got you sandwiches? 171 00:08:02,420 --> 00:08:06,010 No, no, no, two guys'd get-- hey, my old dressing room. 172 00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:08,250 You know, that reminds me. 173 00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:10,300 For five bucks I will. 174 00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:15,670 Hey, dummy, I was just telling these dummies 175 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,320 how we used to go in the park and make fun of all the joggers. 176 00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:21,740 Oh, yeah, "Oh, I'm gonna run in a circle, so I can live longer." 177 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,400 Hold on a second. Who orders a salad from a burger joint? 178 00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:26,330 You watching your figure there, sweetheart? 179 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,200 What, are you gearing up for swimsuit season? 180 00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:29,350 Very funny. 181 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,780 Very funny? How would you know? 182 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:36,310 We used to call this "the jew room." 183 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,330 Oh, here, here's some lettuce from my burger. 184 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:44,930 Hey, chief, the, uh, the kid's birthday party that hired the urkel impersonator is down around the hall. 185 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:48,320 - Are you gonna cry? - Yeah, he's gonna cry. 186 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,900 Give her some lettuce. 187 00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,130 Elizabeth Conworthy Lemon. 188 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,730 Okay, that's not my middle name. 189 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,080 Explain this. 190 00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:06,490 "Subway hero Dennis Duffy and actress Sally Field." 191 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:09,450 Entertaining a guest of the show is called being professional. 192 00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:12,170 It wasn't a date or whatever-- I paid for dinner. 193 00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:14,410 You always paid for Dennis. 194 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,380 He can't get credit cards, Jenna, 195 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:20,030 because his cousin Teddy used Dennis' social to get a cell phone that 196 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,970 Teddy then couldn't pay for because this Indian guy that he was working for... 197 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:27,290 You know what, I don't have to explain myself to you. 198 00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:31,000 Oh, sir. You're back. 199 00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:33,130 Well, I never left, actually. 200 00:09:33,150 --> 00:09:35,760 I just wandered around the building all night. 201 00:09:35,770 --> 00:09:39,040 I didn't run into another single living soul, 202 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:43,370 except one gigantic lesbian. 203 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:48,000 Who is Conan O'Brien, and why is she so sad? 204 00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,780 What is this place? 205 00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:14,570 It's purgatory, Tracy. 206 00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:17,270 Richard Nixon? 207 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,950 I can't believe I'm dead. 208 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,490 There was still so much left on my bucket list. 209 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:26,030 So many different kind of buckets I wanted to own. Buckets. 210 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,490 It's never too late, Tracy. 211 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,420 You can't die now, your party needs you. 212 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,500 We've lost some prestige because of the Bush administration. 213 00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:34,940 And Watergate. 214 00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:38,730 I'm trying to keep that on the DL around here. 215 00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:41,180 Look, I know you're worried about this, 216 00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:45,230 but there's a long history of black entertainers supporting the GOP. 217 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,330 Just ask my old friend, Sammy Davis Jr. 218 00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:50,950 Oh, Sam. Sammy. 219 00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:56,430 Tracy. Babe. You gotta help the Party get back to its groovy roots. 220 00:10:57,850 --> 00:10:59,370 Wow! You were a Republican? 221 00:10:59,380 --> 00:11:00,430 He sure was. 222 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:04,120 Black, Jewish, one eye, a white wife. 223 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,520 It was a big tent back then, Tracy. 224 00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:08,250 Help us... 225 00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:11,590 to make it a big tent once again. 226 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:16,340 I got a mission. 227 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,270 - Dennis. - Yeah, Jack. 228 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,300 What are your politics? 229 00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:21,500 Social conservative, fiscal liberal. 230 00:11:21,510 --> 00:11:24,600 You see the GOP is trying to raise its celebrity profile. 231 00:11:24,610 --> 00:11:27,680 And we would love it, if the subway hero could help us out. 232 00:11:27,690 --> 00:11:29,140 Ah, no can do, Pally. 233 00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:31,570 I can't help McCain. He's a navy man. 234 00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:34,240 I almost joined the marines once. 235 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,890 All right, fine, I admit it. 236 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,350 Dinner with Dennis last night was fun. 237 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,000 Oh, god, Liz. 238 00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:44,120 What, I don't like a lot of people, Jenna, but that dumb creep makes me laugh. 239 00:11:44,130 --> 00:11:45,350 But you know better. 240 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,800 Do I? I might be an idiot. 241 00:11:47,810 --> 00:11:51,070 I know I'm supposed to make myself nice meals, instead of eating junk. 242 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,720 Do you know what I use my oven for? 243 00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,270 Warming your jeans in the morning? 244 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,070 That'sight, and it feels good. 245 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,380 You know what that subway thing taught me, Jack? 246 00:11:57,390 --> 00:11:59,810 It taught me to follow my instincts more. That's how you get ahead. 247 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,220 You must know what I'm talking about--you smell rich. 248 00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:03,070 Thank you. 249 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,850 My cologne is distilled from the bilge water of Rupert Murdoch's yacht. 250 00:12:05,860 --> 00:12:08,570 My point is, Jack, you've got to be a man of action in this world, you know-- 251 00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:09,690 you can't overthink stuff. 252 00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:10,620 I agree. 253 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,060 Not thinking is what makes America great. 254 00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:14,590 That wardrobe is wack. 255 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,150 I want a leather jacket with a glow-in-the-dark skeleton t-shirt 256 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,760 and a porkpie hat for my head, all right. Pronto. 257 00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:22,270 This photo shoot's gotta be phenomenal. 258 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,460 You seem like a man who knows exactly what he wants. 259 00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:26,170 Yeah, I do. 260 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:29,660 Lemon? Good luck with that, Dennis. 261 00:12:29,670 --> 00:12:32,190 No luck needed, Jack. She bought me dinner last night. 262 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,400 - Really? - Yeah, I'm in. 263 00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:36,740 And when I grab on, I do not let go. 264 00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:40,040 Like a killer whale going nuts on his trainer at sea world. 265 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,850 Everything in my life is work. 266 00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,000 But not Dennis Duffy. 267 00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,980 I don't have to shave, I don't have to bathe, 268 00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:47,230 I don't have to be clever or nice, you know. 269 00:12:47,260 --> 00:12:48,550 I can just be myself. 270 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,970 - Isn't that what love really is? - No. 271 00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:55,290 Love is hiding who you really are at all times, even when you're sleeping. 272 00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:59,270 Love is wearing makeup to bed and going downstairs to the Burger King to poop, 273 00:12:59,290 --> 00:13:02,500 and hiding alcohol in perfume bottles. That's love. 274 00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:04,570 Uh, it just sounds hard. 275 00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:06,380 Being with Dennis is easy. 276 00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:10,190 If you give into it, you just start to feel kind of numb and warm, 277 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,970 and then you just get sleepy. That's not that bad. 278 00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:16,850 That's exactly what they say it's like when you freeze to death. 279 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:19,260 Blurgh. 280 00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:24,210 Oh, whoa, whoa, look at, there I am. 281 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,810 Oh, is that really you? 282 00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:29,970 Yeah, me and the boys. Yeah. Boy. 283 00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:32,250 Men were men back then, I'll tell you. 284 00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:36,560 You wanted to do something private with another man, it wasn't gay. 285 00:13:36,570 --> 00:13:42,650 No, it was just two men celebrating each other's strength. 286 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,750 I'm in. Jacky D. 287 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,210 Nixon's ghost convinced my ghost to help the GOP. 288 00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:56,580 God bless that wiretapping bastard, this is great. 289 00:13:56,590 --> 00:13:59,150 We've got to shoot a couple commercials right away. The McCain dinner is saturday. 290 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,620 Sounds good, but I can't talk now. 291 00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:03,510 - I gotta get my wallet out of the toaster. - Okay. 292 00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:07,330 Yeah, you like that? 293 00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:09,720 Maybe a couple photos where you don't give the thumbs-up. 294 00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:10,880 Nah, it's my thing, dummy. 295 00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:13,230 You know what? Doesn't matter. Just getting through the week. 296 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,130 You know, it's all really happening for me. 297 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:18,800 My people, my city, my woman, huh? 298 00:14:18,810 --> 00:14:21,920 I tell you, everything is starting to go my way, Liz, 'cause I'm a man of action, yeah. 299 00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:25,600 I gotta stop overthinking everything like I used to. 300 00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:28,050 That was never your problem. 301 00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:30,870 Elizabeth Sarah Lemon-- 302 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,040 That's not my middle name. 303 00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:35,940 - Will you marry me? - Oh, god. 304 00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:48,160 Wake up, dummy. Hey, space cadet. Right here-- 305 00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:49,260 Will you marry me or what? 306 00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:51,850 No, no way. 307 00:14:51,860 --> 00:14:55,300 You don't know this guy. He is not the man you think he is. 308 00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:57,050 Hey, what is your problem, Liz? 309 00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:58,790 I could get any girl here I want. 310 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,020 And not just the fatties and the butterfaces. 311 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,840 Shut up, crowd. I command you as the subway hero-- shut up. 312 00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:08,910 Unbelievable, Liz. Hey, you know, I don't need this. 313 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,400 You know a stripper offered to give me a squeezer last night. 314 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,370 A white stripper. 315 00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:14,360 Uh, thank god I didn't fall for this. 316 00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:17,930 You are not a hero, you're a loser. And you will always be a loser. 317 00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:18,790 Oh, I'm the loser. 318 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,070 I guess I'm the one who totally missed catching the puck at that Islanders game-- 319 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,750 - You suck. - No, you suck. 320 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,300 And so do all New York based sports teams. 321 00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:29,220 Liz, don't say anything you can't take back. 322 00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:34,990 My fellow blackmericans-- Hey, Jack. 323 00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:39,330 Can I just say black Americans? There's no such thing as blackmericans. 324 00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:42,910 That's great, that's why you're here. 325 00:15:43,190 --> 00:15:47,130 My fellow black Americans, Dr. King once had a dream, 326 00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:52,470 a dream that we all share: To build a 200 foot high wall to keep Mexico out. 327 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,430 And he also hated the estate tax. 328 00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:58,800 Unbelievable. 329 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,640 - Jack, I don't know about this. - What's wrong? 330 00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:11,010 I get it. The Republican party means less taxes, more guns, and the end of the gun tax. 331 00:16:11,020 --> 00:16:11,680 Go on. 332 00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:15,230 But everybody isn't forward-thinking like I am. 333 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:20,020 No matter what, blackmericans are gonna always vote Democrat. 334 00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:22,110 They will, won't they? 335 00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:25,450 Unless... 336 00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:29,280 black people, don't vote. Just don't do it. 337 00:16:29,290 --> 00:16:33,230 In the amount of time it'd take for you to vote, you could play three games of pool. 338 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,680 Three. And that's fresh. 339 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,760 I'm Tracy Jordan, and I improve this message. 340 00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:42,250 Paid by the committee to reinvade Vietnam. 341 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,840 Sure feels good to make a difference, doesn't it? 342 00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:46,160 Yes, it does. 343 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:52,460 Now if you'll excuse me, Nixon asked me to take some stuff out of his Wikipedia page. 344 00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:57,540 Hey, Jack, I'm sorry, this Dennis thing is not gonna work. 345 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,480 I can't even be in the same room as that idiot. 346 00:16:59,490 --> 00:17:01,390 Save it for your I-village blog, Lemon. 347 00:17:01,410 --> 00:17:03,670 Dennis is off the show. I booked the 911 bird. 348 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,580 Winston dialed 911 with his beak and said fire, 349 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,370 but only because he didn't know the word for rape. 350 00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:11,330 Well, that's fine with me, but we've been promoting the subway hero. 351 00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:12,860 The subway hero's 15 minutes are up. 352 00:17:12,870 --> 00:17:14,930 Now if you could let him know that, that would be great. 353 00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:17,880 Hey, you're not bumping Dennis for my benefit, are you? 354 00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:19,160 Well, of course I am. 355 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,470 I base all my business decisions on your needs. 356 00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:24,540 That's why G.E.'s going to be introducing the pocket deep fryer. 357 00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:27,160 That would sell, by the way. 358 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,870 Well, when we sobered up, we realized we'd eaten the peacock 359 00:17:33,890 --> 00:17:37,470 and we put the ham in pat weaver's office. 360 00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,250 Mr. Bright. 361 00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:44,000 With all due respect, I can't listen to this anymore. 362 00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:47,860 I love television, sir, and you are ruining it. 363 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,320 I love television too. 364 00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:50,670 But I wanna tell you something. 365 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:54,340 If you're gonna make something beautiful, you gotta make a mess of it first. 366 00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:56,810 I don't care whether you're making an omelet, a baby, 367 00:17:56,820 --> 00:18:00,960 or a television show, things are gonna get weird. 368 00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:05,420 Well, I'm afraid the biz has changed since your time. 369 00:18:05,430 --> 00:18:09,340 Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Chinatown to pick up some human growth hormones 370 00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:13,320 so that Mr. Jordan's tigers don't realize that he's aging, and... 371 00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,060 oh my... 372 00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:19,020 there's your weird. 373 00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:21,610 - A bird? - Dennis, I'm very sorry. 374 00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:23,110 Oh, really? Why? 375 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:26,370 It seems like all that stuff you said came true. I am a loser. 376 00:18:26,380 --> 00:18:27,960 My mall appearance got canceled. 377 00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:31,810 The mighty ducks are mad at me because I left the Stanley cup on a water taxi. 378 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:35,930 You know, I thought I'd done something good enough to get you back. 379 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,850 I can only imagine the classic song I'm gonna write after this. 380 00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,620 Well, that is a very disturbing story. 381 00:18:47,630 --> 00:18:49,100 Aw, you're just saying that. 382 00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:52,500 No, no, no, no, you've seen some stuff, I'll tell ya. 383 00:18:52,510 --> 00:18:55,460 Oh, well this one's dating a Dateline predator. 384 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,470 Exonerated. And we're not dating. 385 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,500 You don't know what you're talking about, Kenneth. 386 00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:03,110 Boy, that's one mouthy sandwich girl, isn't it? 387 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,920 It was on a subway platform just like this. 388 00:19:16,930 --> 00:19:19,780 On a night just like this. 389 00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:22,200 It's still daytime. And we're inside. 390 00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:24,440 You know what the worst thing about this whole hero thing has been? 391 00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:27,960 Is that I got a chance to see what my life could have really been like. 392 00:19:27,970 --> 00:19:29,920 You know, if like the beeper business had taken off, 393 00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:31,730 or I hadn't failed the firefighter exam. 394 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,320 You failed the firefighter exam? 395 00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:36,230 Yeah, it's totally biased against the Irish, you know. 396 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,280 You know, Liz, being with you and being a hero 397 00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:43,230 are the two greatest things that's ever happened to me. 398 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:48,460 And I just, uh, I just wish I could get it back. 399 00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:54,050 You're gonna be fine. 400 00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:59,870 If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down. 401 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:05,380 I really believe that you are gonna do something else great in your life. 402 00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,450 - Dennis, don't you dare. - Liz, work with me now. Just go limp. 403 00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:13,840 - It'll be phenomenal, Liz, come on. - You can't do this twice. 404 00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:16,510 - Come on, no, no, no, no. - No, I don't want to. 405 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,890 Ah, damn, it's the wrong track. It's stupid express. 406 00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:21,690 - You thought it was this track too, didn't you? - Jackass. 407 00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,640 What, come on. It was just a goof. 408 00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:25,640 Never again. Never! 409 00:20:25,650 --> 00:20:28,700 You'll be back, Liz Lemon. You'll be back. 410 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,420 You'll be back, dummy. 411 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,133 Download Movie Subtitles Searcher from www.OpenSubtitles.org 412 00:20:36,183 --> 00:20:40,733 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0